I don't believe there is such a thing as work-life balance. Work is part of life. So is family, so is rest, so is taking time for myself. But life is what I need to balance, the plate I have to keep spinning on a stick. I can't pretend one part is less important than any other part.
I think what most people mean when they say work-life balance is really work-life separation. We like to think work is work and life is life and we leave one behind when we engage the other. But there's a common thread, no matter how far from home or how different our work is from the other parts of our lives: us.
I am the same person at work and at home, no matter how much I want to be different. I don't fool anybody when I try to leave work stuff there, least of all the people who know me best. Wouldn't it be better to do work I don't feel like I have to keep from my family, and work in a place I don't feel like I have to protect from my family?
Maybe that's the key. Do work I don't feel guilty about bringing home, in a place I don't feel ashamed to have a family made up of real people with real needs.
Too much to ask? Maybe. But how can we get there (or even move in the right direction) if we're afraid to demand better than what we have?
I'm not worrying about work-life balance any more. I'm going to balance my life instead.
Make it a great day!
Scott
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Sunday, April 8, 2012
Making Folks Mad
I just discovered a new column over at Gawker called "I of the Tiger" (warning: rated R for language). It's a fitness column, a category I usually skip over because either a) it's a repetition of something I already know or b) it demands a level of intensity I don't have the capacity for.
But Hamilton Nolan has taken a different approach. He's not offering tips on diet, or technique, or the best ab-blasting exercises. He's not describing body-building circuits that no forty-year-old fat guy with a full-time life has the bandwidth or the energy to do. Instead, he's talking straight--about motivation and not comparing yourself to others and getting better every time you work out. And he gets in your face about it, like a personal trainer urging you to go for it one more time.
And judging by some of the comments he's getting, he's making a few people mad, especially with his latest article. Good advice, they say, most of it, except this part that doesn't apply to me because...and they make their excuses. I'm just there to maintain my current level. I don't need to get better every time. I just want to keep looking good.
But Nolan has his position, and he sticks to it: you should have a goal, push yourself, get better every time you step into the gym. It's the hard way, and it requires work and discipline and focus. And it makes people uncomfortable, because most of us don't want to work that hard, and seeing somebody else working that hard makes us feel like we need to, and that makes us mad. So we grumble to our buddies instead of getting to work, make fun of the guy who is working, because we need to find a reason not to work so hard.
But you can't get younger by making fun of the guy who's working. You can't get younger by hiding behind excuses. You have to be the guy who's working, to tell the excuses to shut up and give you some room, because you have work to do. The goal has to be important enough to give you that courage. And the courage will carry you when other folks make fun of you for being the guy who's working.
I'm way behind on every goal I set for myself this year, because for two months I've been letting the excuses and the fear win. I may not run my marathon this year, I almost certainly won't get my book out there by July, and I probably won't take my wife on thirty dates. But even if I only make half of those, I'll be better than I was last year.
So shut up, excuses, and give me some room. I've got work to do if I want to get younger.
Make it a great day!
Scott
But Hamilton Nolan has taken a different approach. He's not offering tips on diet, or technique, or the best ab-blasting exercises. He's not describing body-building circuits that no forty-year-old fat guy with a full-time life has the bandwidth or the energy to do. Instead, he's talking straight--about motivation and not comparing yourself to others and getting better every time you work out. And he gets in your face about it, like a personal trainer urging you to go for it one more time.
And judging by some of the comments he's getting, he's making a few people mad, especially with his latest article. Good advice, they say, most of it, except this part that doesn't apply to me because...and they make their excuses. I'm just there to maintain my current level. I don't need to get better every time. I just want to keep looking good.
But Nolan has his position, and he sticks to it: you should have a goal, push yourself, get better every time you step into the gym. It's the hard way, and it requires work and discipline and focus. And it makes people uncomfortable, because most of us don't want to work that hard, and seeing somebody else working that hard makes us feel like we need to, and that makes us mad. So we grumble to our buddies instead of getting to work, make fun of the guy who is working, because we need to find a reason not to work so hard.
But you can't get younger by making fun of the guy who's working. You can't get younger by hiding behind excuses. You have to be the guy who's working, to tell the excuses to shut up and give you some room, because you have work to do. The goal has to be important enough to give you that courage. And the courage will carry you when other folks make fun of you for being the guy who's working.
I'm way behind on every goal I set for myself this year, because for two months I've been letting the excuses and the fear win. I may not run my marathon this year, I almost certainly won't get my book out there by July, and I probably won't take my wife on thirty dates. But even if I only make half of those, I'll be better than I was last year.
So shut up, excuses, and give me some room. I've got work to do if I want to get younger.
Make it a great day!
Scott
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